is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I know her cup size but not her name....
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
