Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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