North Korea, Best Korea!
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
