I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Randomize
