i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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