the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
