i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
