yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
