Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Come share oat with me in your robe
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
