What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
That accounts for only three of the penises
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
