Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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