she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
