I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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