ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
