yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize