I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize