I just made out with a guy for $7.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
