her vagine was all disorganized.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
