What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
