well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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