Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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