he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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