hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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