One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
