It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I just blew my weed a kiss
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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