Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
