I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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