Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
