took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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