Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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