kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
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We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
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I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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