Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
