You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
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Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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