Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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