i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
