so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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