so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Randomize
