i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
