Tell her she can't have a vagina
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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