ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
