She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
