We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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