What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
