My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
