woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
