i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
