this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
