The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
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so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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