thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
