We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
