i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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