I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
false alarm, still single
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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