margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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