They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
