Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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