I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
