oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
