I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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