but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
